When Toby was 7 months old, he began to suffer from ear infections. It became chronic within a couple of months, and our family life took a very unpleasant turn. We were stuffed around by a lot of doctors and specialists, because it turned out Toby was not a ‘typical’ case, and we found it really hard to get any support, help or even reliable information for what seemed to be a very simple and common childhood health problem. He was sick for nearly 18 months, and for the first part of that, he was constantly on antibiotics and picked up every single cold and virus going around which just kept making his overall condition worse and worse. We ended up turning to natural medicine, and these days, although he still suffers from glue ear, he hasn’t had an infection for a really long time.
It was a difficult time for us, and if I’d had the time and energy, I would have written a blog about it, if only to help other parents out there experiencing similar. It feels like a bad dream now, but I know it happened. I know that for many, many months we were lucky to get 3 hours sleep a night, and spent more time in Toby’s room rocking him to sleep after hours of helplessly listening to him scream in pain than we did in our own bed.
No-one suffered any permanent damage (although Toby does have a rather funny obsession with ears these days!) and it proved to me how resilient humans (especially children) can be, and also how much a parent is prepared to suffer and fight for their child/ren.
During the worst of it, I remember a nurse at the QE2 hospital in Canberra reminding us how important it was for both of us to take some time out from our domestic responsibilities to unwind and refresh ourselves, and we should always accept as much help as possible from those around us. In times of stress, it’s even more important for parents to get time out, to be sure to have the energy and patience to cope with the next wave of trouble. Makes sense, right? Except most parents will know that when things are tough, you always put yourself last. We did. And our health suffered too. As did our sense of self.
I was remembering these times both yesterday and today, as I took some time out of my ‘normal’ schedule to hang out with mum. This morning, we had brunch in a nice cafe, and I looked over at my beautiful boy and felt so blessed that he is so healthy and happy. Those hard times feel like an eternity ago, but I will never forget what I learnt.
So this is a shout out to all the mummies and daddies. When was the last time you took some time out? A day to yourself, a night out, a special activity that you’ve always wanted to do? If you can remember the last time, please leave a comment and tell me about it. It might provide a little bit of inspiration and a nudge in the right direction for someone else who really needs it. And if it’s been so long that you can’t remember, then promise me you’ll change that really, really soon. Because the truth is that if you’re happier, refreshed and feeling good about yourself, you’ll be an even better parent than you already are.
xo Katie
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